Botswana

Botswana was a country of extremes -- starting out in the surreal atmosphere of US Embassy BBQs, followed by rough camping in the bush amidst an uncountable number of elephants and hippos.

Our first experience in Gaborone, Botswana's capital city, was being picked up at the bus station by Dana's sister's brother-in-law, who arrived in an OJ Simpson-like white Bronco, complete with Setswana driver and US Marine Corps escort. This was a fairly good indication of what life with US Embassy staff would be like.

Staying with Joey & Tracey to us was like being at the Hilton -- clean, comfortable, and secure -- complete with concrete blockades, Internet access, laundry, phones, DVD movies, maid, sugar corn pops, etc. In other words, heaven. On arrival we were informed that it was "Mexican Night" (because it was Tuesday) and from then on gluttony and oversleeping were the rules of the day.

We also tried out the few restaurants that the city has to offer, the best of the bunch aptly named "The Beef Baron." On a few occasions we joined other US Embassy and Foreign Service staff for assorted BBQs and dance parties, one of which was hosted by the Marine Corp (their house, just so you know, has a foozball table, wide-screen TV, swimming pool, gym, maid, and more).

On our last day we visited the nearby Mokolodi Nature reserve, where one can pet cheetahs (who were raised by people after being orphaned as cubs when their moms were killed by farmers --see pics below). Unfortunately, some young German child that was in our safari vehicle felt the cheetahs were her personal property and monopolized most of their time. That evening Joey & Tracey hosted an all-night dance party complete with blasting 80s rock (Warrant, Motley Crue) and Chex Mix.

Armed with clean clothes and a fresh, zestfully clean scent, we headed to Maun for a safari. Getting to Maun from Gabs meant a train ride (1st class of course! Nothing but the best...) and an overnight in a quiet place called Francistown. The highlight of Francistown, and possibly the culinary highlight of all of Botswana, was dinner at the "Steak Chicken House of Pizza and Oriental Food" restaurant. Once you can figure out that they really only serve pizza, it is a real treat. The following day was a bus from Francistown to Maun, which wasn't bad compared with other African buses we've taken, but it's worth noting that for some strange reason, no matter how hot it is outside and in the bus (there is no a/c), these people refuse to open the windows. Even if we try to discreetly open one, someone will soon close it. It goes without saying that we arrive in every destination drenched to the core. However, Botswana, like Namibia, is a sparsely populated country, and this means the buses are fairly empty and roomy.

In Maun we hooked up with Phakawe Safaris to visit the Moremi National Park. There were 4 other passengers -- a Marine Biologist from Canada (toting 2 laptops, 3 cameras, and multiple attachments specifically designed to infuriate large animals), a British couple, and an Italian. Our guide, Busi, was a very competent Setswana with a healthy belief in witchdoctors and a miserable safari vehicle, which was basically a pick-up truck with some stingily-padded benches bolted on. The truck had an irritating habit of stalling out at inopportune moments, such as when an elephant was charging towards us, or just in general every time Busi took his foot off the gas.

In Moremi, as opposed to in Namibia, there are no fences surrounding the campsites and you are sleeping right alongside elephants munching on nearby jackalberry trees, grunting hippos, hyenas, and lions. Needless to say Dana refused to drink anything after 4pm, for fear of having to leave the tent in the middle of the night for the bathroom (ie a bush) -- not a wise idea.

Moremi isn't as packed with animals as say, Etosha, but the scenery is varied and beautiful and when you do spot animals it is worth the effort. On our first game drive, we parked 10 feet from a pride of lions feeding on a freshly killed buffalo (see pics). Driving back to the camp, we encountered a rather large and seemingly annoyed bull elephant, and he gave our vehicle a mock charge just as it stalled out. This didn't stop our resident photographer from snapping away with his extra-large, super-flash camera, making matters worse until Dana insisted (with a swift kick to the driver's window) to get the hell out of there (it worked). On another drive, we saw a pair of rare wild dogs, and of course everywhere were elephant, hippo, crocs, giraffe and zebra, and antelope such as impala, waterbuck, tssesebe, red lechwe, and kudu. Birds we saw included cranes, storks, little bee-eaters, lillac-breasted rollers (the national bird), fish eagles, and others. At the next camp, Kwai, we were fortnate enough to see our first leopard, which after about 20 minutes climbed down from his perch in a tree and walked directly in front of our truck. We also saw buffalo, a pair of large male lions, jackals, baboons, and vervet monkeys.

Possibly the most intriguing sight of the trip was on our last morning, climbing out of our tent after another sleepless night (who can sleep with elephants feeding 10 feet from your tent, grunting hippos in the nearby pool, and the occasional growling lion?) only to see our fearless guide Busi, chasing at least 100 baboons from the campsite into the dusty sunrise.

After Moremi, we were escorted by private twin-engine plane straight into the heart of the Okavango Delta -- a series of rivers and channels through marshy land in Northern Botswana. Our pilot kept us at 500 feet - turning the 45 minute plane ride into an air safari. From a safe distance, we could see herds of elephant, giraffes, buffalo, antelope, and other unidentifiable furry mammals. We landed on the airstrip (ie dirt road) and hopped into the back of a pickup to drive to the Okavango River where we met our guide and mokoro (dugout canoe) poler, "Gripper." (Many Africans take on Western names to prevent the mispronunciation of their names by tongue-tied tourists. Unfortunately, their strong accents often result in the mispronunciation of their new nickname, so we foolish travelers think we are saying something African. In this case, we called our guide Greepa for the first 24 hours of our trip.)

The Okavango River is packed with vegetation, hippos and crocs. The Setswana "river bushmen" travel the forks of the delta by mokoro, poling their way through 6 foot high reeds, listening carefully for the grunts of hippos. Our plan was to head as far upriver as possible and spend the night camping on an uninhabited island. It is beautifully peaceful, gliding through the reeds, listening to the birds and hippos. During daylight hours, the hippos all take to deep, stillwater pools in the river. We glided up to one of the pools, and watched the hippos watching us while Gripper regaled us with stories of hippos biting mokoros and fishermen in half. As we set up camp on our island, Gripper advised that he had forgotten his tent. No problem though - he said that it was unlikely that the lions could get onto our island due to the water level; the residing hippos and elephants didn't worry him, but even so we insited on rigging up our rain fly as a leanto for him (the least we could do!). During the night, the hippos and elephants dined on opposite sides of our camp, and we stayed up the whole night -- listening for the sound of lions dragging our guide away into the bush. Surprisingly, he was still there in the morning.

That day we poled to another island to go on a bushwalk in search of elephants. Trampling our way through 10 foot-high grass in the bush and seeing elephants from on foot, we felt incredibly small. We then went in search of buffalo. Gripper advised that if we saw any bull buffalo we were to "run very, very fast, and climb very, very high up a tree." Dana questioned why the hell we were looking for the bull buffalo as she is not at all confident in her running and climbing skills. Fortunately for Dana, we didn't see any buffalos, but did see herds of zebra and antelope.

The last day, while relaxing on our mokoro ride, 2 elephants suddenly came crashing out of the bush directly in front of us. We weren't sure who was more startled - human or elephant - but we do know who was more scared. The elephants were not happy about the surprise and as they continued to charge towards us, Gripper banged rapidly on the side of the mokoro with his pole (making a sound like gunfire). The elephants turned around and plunged back into the bush. We waited until our heartrates returned to normal and headed clear of the elephants. Later in the journey, we encountered 6 elephants from a safe distance playing in a deep pool. It was incredible to watch these giants romp together like children.

We ended our Botswana journey with a trip to the Chobe River and National Park. We stayed at the Kubu Lodge on the river - Dana insisted on a secure bungalow where she hoped to sleep undisturbed by dining animals. As we headed from the restaurant to our bungalow, we were stopped short by the sight of an enormous warthog tearing up the lawn in front of our door. It regarded us for a moment then continued her work destroying the landscaping of the lodge. As the door to our bungalow was rudely blocked, we headed back to consult the lodge staff. They advised that Bertie - the warthog - has grown used to humans interrupting her destructive work, and that if we walked by quietly she would not disturb us. Being cityfolk, the idea of walking past a 400 pound warthog savagely tearing things apart with its tusks is a bit disconcerting but we went ahead as planned. As promised Bertie let us enter our bungalow and then she picked back up where she left off. So much for paying extra for some luxury!

At Chobe, we went on a game drive on which we saw incredible numbers of elephants and hippos -- for the first time we were able to see the hippo herds on land grazing away. To see hundreds of elephant, hippo, and buffalo all on the same field is truly amazing.

That evening, we went on a boat ride down the Chobe river -- along with about 30 other boats from nearby lodges that had the same idea. So, even though everyone there had probably already seen thousands of elephants in the park, they would continuously corner some poor individual elephant in the river who was just trying to get across. This was the most Disneyland-like part of the trip to date, and that evening, in protest, we decided to eat instant oatmeal in our room rather than join the offending parties for another tasteless meal of papa (corn mush) and stew. From Chobe (Kasane) we took a minibus to the Zimbabwe border and grabbed a ride to Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe...

Botswana Pics! (click picture for full-sized version)

Our illustrious host, Strutter, and his owner, Joey & Tracey / US Embassy party -- your tax dollars hard at work